If the Goblin King Is Killed

Any remaining goblins suddenly get very nervous, wondering who of any of them should take their place. If the party has spared and befriended Wabs, she asks the PCs if they think she should take the job. If they think so, she pipes up and volunteers. This immediately starts the change, causing her to immediately transform into a gorgeous, androgynous goblin queen . Once Wabs gets over the shock, she grins and begins ordering the smaller goblins about. If she and the PCs are on good terms, she declares them Grand Royal Advisors and Very Smart People, and inquires as to what her first act as queen should be.

If the Goblin King Escapes

He sails away with the presents and his remaining goblin retinue. The goblins left behind continue fighting until he is out of view, then they turn tail and run away as fast as they can. The PCs are welcome to chase after the pig balloon, but if this is being run as a one-shot and you are running out of time, you can end the adventure with him escaping the PCs grasp. He laughs into the sky while goblins croak out holiday carols. The townspeople in Revelleschafte are distraught over the loss of their belongings and food. They won’t pay the PCs any more for their time and losses, but the innkeeper offers them rooms for the night if needed. If the PCs are able and willing, the innkeeper encourages them to say something to the people in town; to lead them in a carol or a prayer, reminding them about the reason for celebrating this holiday in the first place. No matter what the PCs do, they can be sure the goblins are having the best holiday of their lives.

If the Pig Balloon Explodes with the Presents Aboard

The presents are burnt to a crisp and destroyed unless the PCs can intervene and do something to save them. If this happens, combine the previous two results together, as this is a win/lose scenario.

If the Presents Are Returned

The townspeople rejoice and welcome the PCs back as heroes. The mayor pays the PCs the agreed upon amount, and they are welcome to carouse and live the high life in Revelleschafte for as long as they like (or until the townsfolk begin to tire of their antics, whichever comes first).

<= Presents for Goblins

Revellschafte is a small town on the Polyne-Trom River, in Allesund.

Population: 348 (80% Humans, 10% Halflings, 5% Half-elves, 5% Other).

Mayor: Ilsa Revelleschafte. Human noble , wire thin, regally dressed, high-pitched voice. She has a human commoner aide named Maria, whom she gives edicts to write down all the time.

Innkeeper: Gaven Hidesbarrow. Halfling commoner , fat, well-dressed, big poofy hair. He gets into the spirit of the holiday by making sure his inn, “The Fattened Calf,” is as festive as possible.

Religion: Church of the Harvest. Run by Matron Doursbea. Human priest , tall, modestly dressed, warm smile, overly welcoming and friendly. She offers shelter to those in need, and healing magic to those who can provide a donation.

Shopping: There are several shops available selling common items at a 50% markup. The major shops in town are the Good Market, A.C. Copper, and Northenstorm.

<= Presents for Goblins | The Abandoned Mine =>

There is a clan of strange goblins known as the miremurk goblins. Very little is known about them, even among goblinkind. They are said to move from place to place in a great big band, filled with strange goblins, reverse goblins, mutated goblins, and attractively fetching goblins. These miremurk goblins are led by the strangest creature of them all: a goblin king !

The goblin king  is not what he sounds like, for he is scarcely a goblin at all. Tall, angular, and androgynous, he is more like a fey monarch than a squat monster. He is perceptive, charming, and well and truly devious. He tempts humans and elves alike with his wiles, and intuitively understands what torments the hearts of men and women alike. He is every bit the sovereign that his title would suggest, and the goblins are his subjects.

This winter, what the goblins desire is a special kind of devastation upon the town of Revelleschafte. Not the kind of devastation that leaves homes in ruins or people dead, but the kind that leaves a soul devastated and hopeless. Their goblin king has come upon an idea as winter has settled over the land: they will steal all the holiday presents and food prepared by the humans while they sleep. Without the precious items and foodstuffs that make up All’s Giving Day, the townspeople will be utterly broken!

On Different Goblins

Presents for Goblins introduces new types of goblinoids, including yobbos ,  nilbogs , and the  Miremuck goblin king .

Goblin Poison

Goblins are hated not because they’re especially dangerous or threatening; fantasy worlds have orcs and dragons and zombies for that. No, ordinary folk revile goblins because they introduce chaos and mischief into an otherwise peaceful world. They are the flies in the ointment of civilized folk. Nothing represents this better than Goblin Poison; a strange and magical mixture known for unravelling the lives of adventurous people.

Every time a creature is hit by a weapon coated with Goblin Poison (or otherwise exposed to it through ingestion or similar means), they must roll on the Goblin Poison Effects table. Victims add their Constitution modifier to this roll (negative modifiers are ignored). The effects last until the creature takes a long rest. The apothecary in Revelleschafte has one dose of the antidote (which ends the effects immediately) and sells it for 200 gp. More antidotes cannot be brewed until the requisite herbs bloom in the springtime.

Goblins are immune to Goblin Poison.

Goblin Poison Effects (1d20 + Constitution modifier)

1 Goblin Blind. You cannot see goblinoid creatures. You have disadvantage on all checks made to interact with them.

2 Two Heads. You grow a second, smaller head from your neck. This head is your opposite self. Once per day, on an action of the Game Master’s choosing, the smaller head takes control of your body and does the opposite of what you say you do instead of your action.

3 Rotting Aura. All foodstuffs within 10 feet of you immediately spoil.

4 Wild Water. All liquids you drink are intoxicating.

5 Uncontrollable Hiccoughs. You can’t stop hiccoughing. Whenever you roll initiative or when you attempt any strenuous physical activity you must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw . On a failure, you suffer disadvantage on all Strength and Dexterity checks and saving throws during the combat, or disadvantage on rolls made to succeed at the physical activity you are attempting.

6 Hallucinations. You see strange monsters that aren’t there. You have disadvantage on Wisdom checks and saving throws .

7 Fish Face. Your skin becomes wet and scaly, and gills appear on your neck. You can now breathe underwater, but you can no longer breathe air. Consult the core rules on suffocation for how long you can breathe out of water.

8 Reddish Pallor. Your skin turns completely red, like a tomato. This is very distracting to other creatures around you. A person who sees you in this state suffers disadvantage on all ability checks for the hour after they first saw you. After that hour passes, they can no longer be distracted by your unusual appearance.

9 Truth Toxin. You cannot tell lies in any way. You cannot shape or bend the truth, and feel compelled to share secret information if asked, even casually.

10 Terrible Swells. Your body bloats with lighter-than-air gas, and you begin to float upward until you reach a height of 500 feet, or hit the ceiling. You can be weighted down to the ground only if you are laden with weight equal to your maximum carrying capacity (a number of pounds equal to your Strength score multiplied by 15).

11 Bioluminescence. You emit a soft glow, illuminating everything around you for 20 feet with dim light . You have disadvantage on all Stealth checks.

12 Choking Foam. Foam rises in your throat every time you speak, threatening to suffocate you. You, the player, can no longer speak aloud in character.

13 Boiling Pustules. Your body erupts in pustules, which cover you. You immediately take 1d4 points of poison damage as the first few pop. Your Charisma score is also reduced by 4 points.

14 Glass Limbs. Your arms and legs turn to glass. They function normally but are incredibly brittle. Whenever you are reduced to 0 hit points, one of your limbs shatters.

15 Awful Smell. You reek of fish and garbage. Nongoblinoid creatures must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw whenever they get within 10 feet of you. On a failure, they are poisoned for 1 minute while they retch and vomit.

16 Enormous Tongue. Your tongue grows in your mouth until it is 1d4 feet long. You have disadvantage on rolls to speak eloquently.

17 Terrifying Hunger. You are compelled to eat your weight in food every day. Failure to do so confers disadvantage on all Constitution checks and saving throws until you sate your hunger.

18 Mucus Overload. Thick mucus flows incessantly out of your nose and mouth. You take a –2 penalty to all rolls until you can staunch the flow.

19 Gooble Gobble. You transform into a goblin yourself. Your stats, abilities, and attacks remain the same, but your small body means your armor and weapons may no longer fit you.

20+ Feeling Fine. The poison runs its course through your system and you are unaffected.

<= Presents for Goblins | The Town of Revelleschafte =>

The adventure begins as the player characters first arrive in town, either on the eve of the holiday or the holiday morning.

If they arrive in Revelleschafte on the holiday’s eve, the PCs have the chance to enjoy the festivities, learn about the town and its people, and spend the night in the inn—and it is filled with happy travelers and good cheer. The next morning, however, they awake to the news that the town has been pillaged by goblins , and (if willing), they can answer the call to adventure and trek down to the Abandoned Mine. PCs that insist on staying up at night may have the chance to encounter a small goblin raiding party amidst the night’s chaos, or may be so drunk on mead and spiked eggnog that they sleep through the whole attack anyway.

If they arrive on the morning of the holiday, they enter Revelleschafte only to find a despondent scene, bereft of holiday cheer. The town has just been pillaged by goblins on the eve of All’s Giving Day, and people are struggling to find the holiday cheer without their food, drink, and presents. As soon as the PCs make their presence known, some townsfolk grow eager to retaliate. “Our stuff!” they cry, “Please save our stuff!”

The mayor of the town will offer a reward of 150 gp per PC if they return with most of their belongings and proof the goblins have been killed. The mayor will offer half as much if the PCs only return with one or the other.

All's Giving Day

The adventure is based around the winter solstice, recognized in the Allesund town of Revelleschafte as All’s Giving Day. This is an Allesund holiday where on the eve families gather together to drink, be merry, and sing carols and hymns about the importance of togetherness during the long winter. All’s Giving Day can, of course, be easily replaced by another setting-appropriate winter holiday.

The following morning, families and friends exchange wrapped gifts with each other in the spirit of altruistic giving. These gifts are often toys and chocolates for children, clothes and jewelry for adults, and sundries shared between couples. That evening, families share in a large feast of roasted poultry with a variety of vegetables and side dishes.

All’s Giving Day is a holiday that many townspeople prepare for months in advance, making sure their gifts are bought or made, and that enough food is readied for the feast.

<= Presents for Goblins | The Miremuck Goblins =>

The winter solstice brings with it a desire for warmth, good company, and good food. The longest, coldest day of the year often coincides with holidays celebrating light, family, thankfulness, and generosity. This is no different for medieval fantasy peoples.

The snow-covered town of Revelleschafte prepares for its holiday of All’s Giving Day (or another fantasy holiday appropriate to your campaign setting), a day where all folk feast and exchange gifts with one another. For many, it’s the happiest day of the year. But this year, it’s a nightmare. This year, goblins want that holiday. Goblins want the feasts, the drinks… and especially the presents.

Note: This adventure is a humorous romp, and may not be suitable for all campaigns.

Presents for Goblins, by Kiel Chenier, is a holiday romp: an adventure that takes the winter holiday season and pairs it with vicious and strange little monsters hell-bent on ruining everyone’s fun. It takes inspiration from Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) and Joe Dante’s Gremlins (1984), as well as a little bit of Jim Henson’s Labyrinth (1986).

An adventure for characters of 3rd-5th level.

• Beginning the Adventure
• The Miremuck Goblins
• The Town of Revelleschafte
• The Abandoned Mine
• Conclusion

Beginning the Adventure =>

Spillage

Should the party act to remove the cauldron from the scaffolding, it must be both lifted and balanced. Lifting the cauldron requires a DC 13 Strength check, and balancing it requires a DC 16 Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check.

On a failure on either check, roll a d% to determine the amount spilled. For each 10% (rounded down) spilled up to 50%, add 1 month to a base 6 month time period for the effect to dissipate. A character who fails one of the two checks can still hold onto the cauldron, but failing both causes the character to drop it.

If 50% or more of the cauldron is spilled (including if the cauldron falls into the river), the Trom will forever bear a minor love effect and become a local legend. In time, it may grow to attract love-seekers and potion makers from near and far. This does little to resolve the supply shortages, which may cause a regional famine unless Lanidor is brought to its senses.

If Hermia Is Spared

Hermia can be forced to create an antidote if she is left alive. “The original potion was based on the essence of voles, because they find true love and mate for life. The opposite of the vole is the praying mantis, as they only mate once … and there’s no romance at all there,” she explains. The potion she makes will cure the effect of the love potion, but if she’s left to her own devices she’ll add a bit of magic (DC 15 Intelligence [Arcana] to notice) that will create uncontrollable mutations, turning the townsfolk into hideous aberrations that proceed to plague the countryside and will require extermination.

If Hermia Is Killed

Without Hermia’s knowledge of the potion’s contents, creating an antidote will be quite an undertaking and require many far-off components and a great deal of arcane knowledge.

A DC 10 Intelligence (Arcana) check reveals that the first component is a live praying mantis—this at least can be found in any trade city.

Dealing with Two-lips

Whether the party punishes Two-lips for the trouble he’s caused, or how they exact retribution, should be left for them to decide. Was it an honest (if poorly conceived, researched, planned, and executed) mistake, or was it something more nefarious? GMs should reward creativity when dealing with Two-lips.

<= The Business of Emotion

The Mouth of the Cave

After traveling for several hours, you find a dense forest on the edge of the small mountain range, marking the end of the valley. The canopy of the forest before you is ominously thick, allowing little light through.

The lazy, meandering river gains pace as you exit the valley and follow it to a nearby mountain. At the base of the mountain you find the mouth of a large cavern, and the roar of water echoes from within.

Intelligence (Investigation) checks outside the cave find the following:

• DC 10: Large, bear-shaped footprints in the mud along the river bank.
• DC 15: Tracks showing that whatever left the footprints dragged a large animal. These tracks can be followed to the corpse of a horse in the bushes. 

The horse was attacked, dragged, and partially eaten by a large beast. Further Intelligence (Investigation or Nature) checks reveal:

• DC 10: Deep, parallel claw marks along the horse’s flank.
• DC 18: A single owl feather in a nearby bush.

The Throat of the Cave

As the players enter the cave, they soon find themselves standing above the river as it has cut its way through the stone.

The ground along the river’s edge (marked on the map) has been partially eroded by the river’s rapid waters. The first Medium or larger creature that steps in this area causes a five-foot patch to crumble. The player must make a DC 12 Dexterity saving throw to avoid falling into the river below, taking 1d6 bludgeoning damage from the fall, suffering a severe exposure to the love potion (Odds and Ends) and being carried downriver 1d6x5 feet.

The Cauldron Chamber

You round the bend and enter a large chamber. Along the far wall, a roaring waterfall pours from the depths of the mountain. Near the edge of the platform, a cast iron cauldron rests upon a wooden scaffold overhanging the river. A pinkish light glows from the open top of the cauldron, and occasionally, a single fuchsia drop leaps into the churning source of the River Trom.

Directly in front of you, lying upon a nest of trampled grass and bones is a large, feathered mass whose glowing yellow eyes stare from the darkness. It remains motionless, watching and breathing loudly.

The owlbear smelled the PCs when they entered the cave, but obeys Hermia’s orders, and dutifully guards the cauldron chamber. It watches the PCs, but attacks if they get within 10 feet of the cauldron.

On the second round of combat, Hermia ( witch ) arrives on the scene, having invisibly watched the party from beside her owlbear . She remains under her magical disguise as she approaches.

Hermia will not attack immediately, and momentarily calls off her owlbear to parley with the PCs. However, she instantly retaliates if attacked, if the players attack her owlbear  after she arrives, or if she overhears the party discussing plans to destroy her potion setup.

If Hermia attacks or is attacked:

The beautiful female form before you dissolves, leaving a thin wisp of magical essence hanging in the air. A hideous, green-skinned monster now stands in her place. Her mouth opens wide as she cackles wickedly, revealing the sharp points of many shattered teeth. Her long arms and sharp claws drag behind her as she approaches. “You dare to disrupt my experiments?” she cries out. “This cave will be your grave!”

The scaffolding supporting the cauldron has 15 hit points and AC 10. It is resistant to piercing damage. It automatically fails saving throws against spells with an area of effect, like fireball. Its wood is damp from the river water, and it ignores the first 5 points of fire damage it takes each day.

If inspected, the scaffolding upon which the cauldron of love potion rests is obviously rickety. A DC 11 Investigation check reveals the structure is slightly off level, likely leading to the overdosing.

If the scaffolding is destroyed, the cauldron drops vertically towards the riverbank, pausing momentarily as it spins on its edge above the  ledge. Attempts to stop it from falling in will require a PC’s reaction and should be judged based on a DC 16 Dexterity check (to catch it) and DC 13 Strength check (to hold onto it). Otherwise, it slowly rotates (for maximum drama) before toppling over the ledge, spilling the entire contents of the cauldron into the river—see the Spillage section of Resolving the Adventure.

<= The Business of Emotion | Resolving the Adventure =>

The following information will help the Narrator run the adventure.

Detect Magic

Should the adventurers cast detect magic while within 30 feet of the River Trom, they find the river itself radiates magic of the enchantment school.

Interacting With The Water

At several points throughout the adventure, whether through drinking beer in the village or falling into the river while fighting in the cave, the  PCs may come into contact with the enchanted water from the Trom.

The effects of the potion build with exposure and should be tracked for each PC. A minor exposure (drinking, washing, etc.) adds one point, while a severe exposure (falling into the river, etc.) adds three points. This effect wears off after 1d6 days of not being exposed to the water.

Exposure Tracking

1 (Slight): A wave of peacefulness and confidence washes over the PC. At all exposure levels, the PC has advantage on Charisma checks.

2-3 (Low): The affected PC immediately favors the first person of any gender they see after reaching this level of exposure. The PC compulsively does minor things to try to gain the favored person’s attention.

4-5 (Medium): Gaining the attention of his or her favored person is now the PC’s primary concern. The PC behaves as though affected by a charm person spell cast by the favored person and will act irrationally to justify their actions.

6+ (High): The PC is spellbound. If his or her favored person says “jump,” the PC will ask “how high, my love?” If the PC’s favored person provides a simple instruction (“attack that creature,” “run over there”), the PC must make a DC 13 Wisdom save; if the PC fails this save, they must act as instructed, as per the suggestion spell. If the PC succeeds on the save, he or she may act freely this time, but the spellbound effect remains.

<= The Business of Emotion